I remember that day very clearly. Surrounded by so many people and yet, felt so alone. I knew there was so much noise as my friends were engaging in conversations in an attempt to cheer me up but somehow, I could not hear a thing. I laughed here and there but at most instances, had no idea what the joke was about. I was deep in my thoughts. Now that I think about it, I cannot even believe how consumed I was in my own thoughts. I felt suffocated. Now imagine feeling alone and suffocated. AT THE SAME TIME! As I sat there, with mixed emotions (so much joy from the presence of my loving, 'funny' friends together with the pain of just having lost a loved one) and in my own thoughts. I remember feeling completely numb and as though I am sleeping when infact, I was wide awake. I was so appalled by what suddenly came out of my mouth. It was not loud enough for everyone to hear, but I heard it. I asked God, 'Okay, what now? What am I supposed to do with myself now? What were YOU th